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I don't mind if you tend to date fat girls, or really even if you get some specific pleasure from being with a fat woman -- but I don't need that to be the first thing you tell me about yourself. " It's announced as if it's supposed to reassure me that they aren't going to take one look at me naked and run, I think? Or maybe it's meant to suggest some kink; like to let me know that he wants to feed me cakes and watch me weigh myself? If you care more about my weight than I do, we're going to have a problem. "You're not the kind of lazy, stupid, disgusting, [insert sizeist insult here] slob who I expect fat people to be," is not a compliment.
Dudes tend to assume that I haven't dated a lot in my life -- or the opposite, that I'm always up for casual sex because I'm desperate for attention.
Are you trying to prove to me that I'm "not that heavy"? I enjoy sex, I love meeting new people, and I think there is an incredible power in making intimate connections.
Or are you trying to prove to yourself how much of a manly man you are? I also enjoy boundaries and people who know what affirmative consent looks like.
Once I learned the language that men speak and hear, my relationship with men changed for the better both in my love life and professionally. Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating.
As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can't tell you how often I've been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I'm into what I'm into.
If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I'm fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.
I love Netflix and whatever as much as the next girl, sure -- but I also love art galleries and movie theaters and poetry readings!
And yes, I even enjoy going out for a good meal if you can manage not to make a big deal out of it.